Oh my word, blog friends. Would it be ok with you if I just wrote a scattered blog post? Just something so jam-packed full of everything that’s been going on? No dots to connect, just a brain dump. Is that ok?
First of all, I’m still fresh off the plane from two days away from my iPhone earlier this week. I spent Monday and Tuesday at an event called Making Things Happen–something I’ve wanted to attend for a long time, partly out of curiosity, and partly because I just like being around people with big ideas, and a conference called Making Things Happen sounds like it would have a lot of big idea people at it.
Two days without an iPhone in hand gives you plenty of time for reflection, and I’ve had a few clarity moments since then, and I wanted to take the opportunity to document them before they escaped me. So the randomness now begins.
I feel called to be a voice for adoption. Caroline Brant, put down the phone. I didn’t say I wanted to adopt. I don’t want to adopt. We are not called to adopt. But I can’t read an adoption story without dissolving in a pile of tears. When our oldest son was weeks old, and the earthquake in Haiti, I would have been on a plane within hours if someone had told me to go get one of those children from Haiti. I’m not kidding. I cleared it with David and our nanny at the time, and I sent emails to organizations offering to provide a home. Of course, that didn’t happen, but it lit a fire in me that honestly hasn’t died since then. I don’t know how my voice could be used to create families, but I’m open.
I love being a part of big things. Love it, ya’ll. In a major way. When I was 26, and running a pretty big company at the time, people would ask me why I did what I did, and I would reply that I loved being a part of something bigger than I was. I loved that feeling of momentum, movement. I loved the sense of teamwork. (Anna and Chelsea, I’m thinking about you.) Yes, I made a few mistakes and learned a few lessons along the way, but that invigorating feeling of working with a team to make crazy stuff happen–ya’ll, it still makes my heart sing.
I let the fear of what other people will think of me hold me back. I didn’t think I did, but I do. I don’t talk about God very much because I’m afraid people will think I’m a Bible-thumper. I don’t talk about cocktails very much because I’m afraid the Christians will say I’m a sinner. I don’t Instagram pictures of the Day Designer very much because I’m afraid people will think I’m a pushy sales person. And good glory ya’ll, being afraid of all that can drive a person nuts. It’s time to get off the shame train, people. (And by people, I mean, myself.) There is a momentum train out there, and I want to be on it. (If you see it, will you let me know?)
I’m terribly excited about the new deal I just signed with Boatman Geller. If you haven’t heard, you can read about it on their blog. I’m designing stationery for them! Here’s a little secret: I LOVE designing foldover note cards. LOVE it. Times a million. And I get to do an entire new release for 2014! I’m ecstatic!
I am called to help creative entrepreneurs. On this one, I’m also terribly open. And surprisingly, there is a little bit of shame surrounding this one as well, after all, my first company failed (says the little voice in my head). I know I have a pile of good ideas–a wealth of good ideas, even–that could help small to massive creative businesses. I’m just terrible at communicating that value. I’m terrible at “selling” myself as a coach, consultant, and mentor. I don’t know how to overcome this (admitting is the first step, right?), but I can’t get around that sense of calling. As a side note, I do not necessarily feel called to be a speaker, just a sharer. Someone else can speak the ideas, I just need to get them out of my head. Does anyone else feel this way?
I need a watch on my wrist and an analog clock in every room of our house. After spending two days without my iPhone, I can now admit that I look at it WAY. TOO. MUCH. I have a watch, and I’m getting it fixed ASAP. And we have clocks that need batteries replaced in them so that they work, and we are getting that fixed THIS weekend. We will also be plugging in a land line phone so that we can be reached without carrying our phones around ALL THE TIME. It’s far more of a problem than I realized.
This Authenticate curriculum is IMPORTANT. I say that in all humility. I had an interesting Twitter conversation with Kate Baird and a few others last week, and one of the things I said was: I believe if we focus on what makes us each unique, there are plenty of expert titles to go around. I love creatives, but I think we rely far too much on inspiration from other creatives. I think we need to be digging into our core a WHOLE LOT MORE. Core, when coupled with LIFE, breeds genuine AUTHENTICITY. More people need to hear this stuff, more of us need to live this stuff. End soapbox.
The fight is not mine. God breaks us down to draw us closer to Him, to make us more dependent on Him, to get into our hearts, to tell us what He wants us to be doing. Again, with all humility friends, I feel like the lessons I’ve learned this past year have opened my heart to hearing what God wants me to do. I don’t want to sound crazy–it’s not like I hear His voice in my head or anything–but I do feel a certain sense of peace about doing some pretty out there stuff. Like starting an Authenticate education program. He’s telling me to step out (in faith) and I’m trusting that He’ll be the one making it happen, not me. Yes, I’ve got some legwork and some homework assignments. He doesn’t call the lazy. But the fight is not mine. He’s got that covered.
That’s as far as I’m going with the brain dump today, friends. Kids are waking up from naps. Thanks again!